I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize