Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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