no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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