She is in my trunk
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
