Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
