I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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