Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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