no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We need to feng shui this bitch.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
