Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
