"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Too much gin, very little bucket
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
