I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
