Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
