so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
