didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
