I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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