Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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