ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
