why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
