come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Boobs are out for the taking
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
