I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
