Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
