I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
