Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize