so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize