I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
