The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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