Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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