AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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