Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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