grandma shit on top of the toilet
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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