his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
