Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
