You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
