did you get engaged???
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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