Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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