Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.

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(214): View more from Texas

I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.

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