shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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