i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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