Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
