I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
