i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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