i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
