He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
