He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
