Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize