I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
