i just had sex bonerless
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
