When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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