i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
