she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
