We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
