guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
