john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
