Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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