it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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