my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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