the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
