I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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