It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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