let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
