I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
