Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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