gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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