He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
