It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
