all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I want her autograph on my taint
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
