Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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