D3 body, D1 cock
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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