I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
