Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
