just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
