Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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