I want to stick my p in your. b.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
