Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
