Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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