i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
