Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
